Ask clearly

How about having something new to celebrate? The past few weeks, we’ve looked at celebrating so that we are enjoying our small actions as we go along. Now we’ll spend time learning about asking for what we want.

Many of us resist asking as we don’t see that as responsible living. There are instances where that is true. In most instances, we being prideful or fearful we’ll be told “no.” Well, we’re already at “no.” The worst that can happen by asking for what we want is that we’ll still be at “no.”

The first quality of asking is to ask clearly. You’re sitting at the dinner table and you ask “Would you please pass that?” with a point or a nod. That isn’t clear. “Would you please pass the asparagus?” is a better ask, eh? (Still thinking of my Canadian friends.)

If you are going to ask for a raise, you would build your case for that based on research and your contributing value to the organization. With that research you would know a fair amount to ask for. If you determine that a ten percent increase is the amount of value for the excellent work you are already doing, then ask for that amount. If you only ask for “a raise” then that might be $100 and that’s that. It would be a raise while also not being what you had in mind.

Don’t expect anyone to be able to read your mind. Not even those who have long known you. No “They ought to know.” Be kind to yourself and them. Be sure they know by making your request clearly. Practice your request out loud if need be. If you ask clearly you have a much higher probability of receiving it.

Be brave! Today ask for what you’ve had in your mind to ask of late. Would love to hear from you how that went or if you want to chat about how to make an ask, let me know.

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