You are at a food-serving establishment. Once you’ve decided what you want, you usually say one of two things.
1. “I’ll have ….”
2. “May I have ….”
I’ve long thought it odd to use the second phrase as if the server is going to say anything other than “yes” unless the place is out of your choice. Even then they want to bring you what you’ve come to purchase.
My point isn’t about this oddity in language. My point is that we are not fearful of asking for what we want in that circumstance yet we are often fearful of asking for what we want in other areas of daily living.
As we learn how better to live well in community, drawing appropriate boundaries that allow us to pursue our best selves, we must also learn how to ask for what we want regularly.
What have you been resisting asking for? What are the reasons you’re telling yourself not to ask for what you want?
This week think about and write down:
• Something you want to ask for.
• Who will you ask it of?
• What is the reason you have not asked for it?
Next week, I’ll give you a framework for asking for what you want in any circumstance.
Though we often tell ourselves we get along in this life without help, that is a lie we tell ourselves. Oh, we don’t want to act helpless. We want to understand that in a modern world we depend on many others for our lifestyle no matter how modest or grand it may be.