“Watch your language” was a term my mom used when we children used a disrespectful tone or came close to cussing (foul language). Cussing got a different response from Mom.
When we ask for what we want, the terms we use, the tone of those words, and our body language all impact how the person with the power to the grant our request receives it. How they receive it greatly impacts their inclination to give you what you ask for. Though you can’t control their response, you can help them be inclined to give you the request. Be thoughtful, be persistent, be nice. Nice guys don’t really finish last.
Recently, working with a young professional during new job negotiations, I offered to lend her a couple of books about the reasons for asking for what you want during this process. She came over, flipped through the books briefly while we stood there chatting and she asked “Do you mind if I write in these books while I’m reading them?” I inwardly was surprised by what, to me, seemed boldness, as she stood there smiling sweetly at me. I also thought she is already one to ask for what she wants and does it well. My answer was affirmative because it pleased to grant her request.
Do you have a good friend or colleague you can discuss your goals and your pursuits? Someone you trust? If you are feeling unsure about how to frame a request, ask that person to listen to your request with the intention to give you feedback how they receive it. Remember, you don’t have to change what you are doing based on their feedback. The mere practice of saying it out loud to someone plus the perspective they give you are valuable as you move toward your goals. Feedback is your friend. Whether you incorporate what is in the feedback is up to you. You are still 100 percent responsible for your outcomes. It’s a great place to be.
What will you ask for this week?